The first week after prelims is over. Went by in a batting of the eye. Playtime should be long over. But not quite in my case. I guess I havent really got the momentum going, that is why I am not so crazy as to define linear momentum upon seeing the word momentum.

Next week will be pretty truncated. I hope things will work out better. I need to discipline myself more. But I dont really know to what extent I should do so. I know its crazy to abstain from all forms of play. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, whoever Jack is. All work and no play can make me crazy. And like what I said to some people, its going to be a long month. If we work ourselves out too hard at the start, we might explode before the time is even over.

The bloody As seem so close yet so far. In less than 2 months, I could be free from all this shit, like it has never happened before. And the time after As seem to hold so much promise, such limitless possibilities. And that is what I am trying to refrain from thinking about. No fastforwarding. Have to stay in tune with what is present, what is now. I guess all that has to wait, and I hope it will.

So for now, I guess I got to maintain what is called a mind of normal circumstances, ping chang xin? Lol. Okay its not easy to translate chinese to english at times. Do my most in everyday and not burn out too soon.

I hope everything will just work out.

Anyway on a random note, the LJS at century square is opened for its last day today. And it was a coincidence that I decided to drop by. Life has only been 18 years and already I can see changes all around. Childhood memories revolving around many places can no longer be relived. Remember munching LJS at parkway and century with my family when I was much younger. The LJS at parkway has long been removed and a new one built and now its time for century to go as well. Oh well. It was good while it lasted.

I think my wisdom tooth is erupting. And it is not the most splendid feeling. Feels just like an ulcer in the mouth, plus terrible headaches and accompanying flu like symptoms. The headaches have been going on for two days now. Not the right time at all. =(

Lessons these 2 days have been uber boring. Its either going through of answers of prelims or doing some mock paper after a whole day of the former. Super tiring and boring, although I am not sure if the fatigue comes more from the senseless onslaught of answers or the wisdom toothy thingy.

Got back some papers too lah. It was okay I guess. Not that delightful but I guess acceptable.

Anyway, I just hope that people around me will do well for the papers that have yet to be returned. It is not nice seeing unhappy faces at all, sad and very different from the norm, very unusual and unsetlling. Gives me a headache. Wait or was that because of the wisdom tooth? Ah never mind. Either that or I hope people learn to take things better in their stride. Good luck to them though. =)

Let these boring days go by faster.

Time passes by sooner than you expect. All too soon, the prelims are over. It seems not long ago that it was after the mid years actually. But now all is left is the final hurdle, no more trying. Just the final judgement. The conclusion of two years in JC.

It seems rather fearsome actually. The A levels is really different from past examinations. Looking back at the O levels, by the time the prelims was over, all had to be done was some final tweaking and fine tuning. However, the situation seems rather distant from that now. It is worrying, but I will not worry. Why worry? It will not help things at all. I will just try to make the best out of it. And I will.

Anyway, its a happy thing that the prelims is over I guess. I had my 4 days of fun too. Yesterdays dinner at xin wang hongkong restaurant was quite interesting. The mango ice was fun to eat, and nice too. Hahas. And I watched like 2 movies in 2 days. The first movie was crap, premonition, waste of money. The plot was a mess so yup if you have that extra $10 or so, you know what not to spend on. The second show was Underdog. I think its quite cute lah, funny at parts, and I am a sucker for cartoons and such, so ya.

So the fun is over. Back to school tomorrow. Boring school. I rather be on study break seriously, though it kills my wallet. =x Oh well, what shall I bring tomorrow then?

Pitstop. Well sort of. My pitstop team seems lousy though. I woke up at 12pm-ish today. Not good. Then I started studying around 1 after lunch. But I just got terribly distracted and got a headache. Its called the result of oversleeping I guess. So around 5 I went back to sleep. And my alarm clock screwed up so I woke at slightly before 8. Still had the headache. Now, I only muddled through statistics 1 and did some reading up on stats. Got to make up for the time lost. =S

Anyway, the week before wasnt exactly good. For a start maths paper 1 was terrible through and through. I actually felt I should not be there at all less than 1 hour into the paper. Its the worst kind of feeling you can get in an examination. Then econs was another screw up. Policies hardly came up. And I struggled through. So I guess thats 2 failed papers.

Okay chemistry was not that good but it felt okay after the end. Physics paper 3 was the only confirmed good through the whole week I guess. It felt good and Mr Gohel just told me it was good, so its good! So thats the end of week 1. Half done.

Monday is scary, very scary actually. Chem paper 1 and 2 and maths paper 3 in one day is no joke. And its like must do well for all the papers I guess, to make up for week 1 stumbles. Ack. Just have to hope it goes well.

I think examination stress makes me dream, loads and loads. I had like dont know how many dreams last night. One dream was me getting some funny posting by the school to some econs rescue thingy, which means I failed terribly lah. And other random dreams.

Things can only get better I guess. I hope.

And I have been waiting for some 5 days for songs. =(

Just a short one.

First day of prelims was okay! Yay! Though I am not so sure about tomorrows chemistry. The revision pace seems abit jialat now. I am hardly done at all. Zzz. Oh well I am trying. So why am I here when I am lacking time? Hahas. Yeah I know I contradict myself all the time.

Actually I am here to post on something random I thought of this morning, in case I forget by the end of the week. Okay. Do you ever notice how some songs just remind you of certain people? The link between the song and that person can be greatly varied. It may be a song that person recommended you, one that he or she sent you, perhaps a song that you heard the person sing before or just a song that the person likes. Either way, its amazing how our minds link songs to people. Helps you remember people too, like when you suddenly here that song from ages back and you recall the friend you had back then. It does bring back memories.

So I am just curious, is there a song that reminds you of me? Hahas. Tagboard is there. Ready, set, go!

And so week two of revision has come to an end. In a twinkling of an eye too. Time can never be enough. But that is also the beauty of the world. If we did not have deadlines, we will spend too much time on one matter, missing out on the beauty of the rest of the world. The more time people spend on something, the higher the standards will be raised, and people will then spend even more time trying to beat that standard, what we call a cyclical chain of time wastage. Hmms. I am digressing.

So anyway, what done is done. What extra could be done is not done and should be ignored. There is no time for regrets, no space to turn around. Its just what lies infront, versus me. It is an onslaught, fearsome and terrifying, but one things for sure, it will remain scary until I defeat it.

I think this description is apt. When you are on a battlefield, back at your camp, you can pump yourself up, revise your strategies, and boost your confidence all you want. But as you step up against the defying forces, and you see the soldiers charging towards you, it is instinctive that your heart skips a beat. Your cofidence is wavered. That is exactly how it was. Perfectly fine in the afternoon, but now there is a quiver inside.

But I wont let that tremble shake me. I will contain it. I will fake my confidence for as long as I can, and I will convince myself. There is no turning back I know. So why defeat myself before I even start fighting. I must believe I can do it, and I will do it.

Two weeks. Its not very long but neither is it short. I hope I can sustain. I must rest more, study more and think less. Rawr. See me at the end of the tunnel.

Okay. Before I go, I know its cliche but heres the well wishes to my classmates, friends and anyone else going through the same shit called prelims. Good luck to all of you people, be strong and smile, the operation will be over soon.

And I have a headache already. =X

Dreams. Some say that it is the potrayal of your subconscious, the script that you wrote without even knowing being translated to a show for the big screen, in a cinema where only you sit. Yet others say it is a sign to what is going to happen. A foresight of the future, a premonition.

Why do dreams come when you least expect it? A familiar scenario it was, something from the past, yet the characters in the scene had been updated, to the new people in my life. Yet, every other thing seemed the same. The same unexpected twist. The same emotions of anguish, anger and heartache. I was last to know once again.

I was jolted from sleep. The familiar dark setting of my room consoled me but could not convince me. Yes it was just a dream, but it seemed too real, far too real. Perhaps it was because the emotions were too similar, too familiar. The same look upon her face, the guilt, and all at once I knew what they said was true. The helplessness, when it was all too late and the world that I had built around myself just collasped, leaving me naked and cold.

It was a dream, but the dream haunted me through the day. It was not because I had not gotten over the past. It was be cause I was not ready to accept a future like that. I was afraid, afraid that the scene I had witnessed would replay in reality. I gazed about, on tenterhooks that somehow I may see her walking by with him. It was a dream, yet the effect was as if it had really happened. The devestation has only been restrained by the mind, the logical belief that what is a dream remains a dream. I knew I was thinking too much. But my heart does not believe, and it cries the tears no one sees.

Back to the question, what is a dream, a figment of my imagination or a foresight. I seriously hope its the former, a nightmare merely to forget.