Never really used this laptop much since it came home. So decided to blog.

Revising maths now, with 93.3 on the radio. Came online to get a phone number for my mum. Ended up blog hopping.

Suddenly feel so tired, so lonely. Perhaps its those chinese tunes on the radio. They tend to just make you feel. Sigh.

6 more days to go. I can do it. Jiayou! And all those in the same situation as me, work hard and the results will show. Good luck to all of you.

Back to mugging now...

If you are looking for a cheeky post, click on the red cross on the top right hand corner of your screen. What i want to talk about today is have you ever found yourself not being what you want to be?

Well, cause I have, in a multitude of times. I find myself often not being what i want to be, doing what i do not want to do, and being hopeless at those i hope to accomplish. All the more since JC life began.

For a start, I always wanted to do more for my family, show them the care they deserve. Just a simple gesture, doing something nice for them, helping them. Yet more than often, I find myself tired from school, or hooked onto that computer game. I ignore their needs, seal myself up in a world of my own. How very selfish. I know. It happened today. Its my dads birthday. My mum reminded me this morning but still i forgot. Did not send that birthday greeting that could brighten his day. Perhaps it was because i was busy studying. Dumb excuse. Im sorry dad. And happy birthday.

There is also my belief that i can barely stick to. That is never to forget my secondary school friends. I regretted in secondary school when i found that i have lost many of my primary school friends. And so i decided never to forget the new ones i made in my four years. But it is so apparent now. Faizal is going through alot i know but i have barely been there for him. He is the one who helped me time and time again with all my problems. But when its my turn to repay the kindness, I am obscured by all the busyness. I can only offer him solace in a listening ear, and that was only twice. How very selfish.

So what if i get promoted? So what if i ace the A levels? Is all this sacrifice i make for my studies worthy? In fact its not just studies, I often lose track of myself while having fun. Guilt and remorse is useless.

Happy-go-lucky, i guess thats what i am. Never planning ahead, and taking whatever comes. Thats why i hate making major decisions, and i am not suited to be a leader. That J2 farewell is far from ready. What am i doing?

Guilt and remorse is useless once again. Tomorrow will be a better day. For now, beat the promos, then deal with the rest. That has been what ive been always doing but it seems so wrong in the end. But what else can i do? I am so bloody short of time! And to think i thought i would have more time in jc with just six major subjects. This is like a hellhouse. Everything is thrown at you at one time. Too much for me, far too much. CCA, studies, friends, family. WHAT CAN I DO?!

3 names you go by
1. Alvin
2. al
3. vin

woah this is easy..

3 physical things you like abt urself
1. shoulders
2. chest
3. colour

3 physical things you dislike abt urself
1. height
2. weak legs
3. the fat

3 parts of my heritage
1. Chinese
2. Peranakan
3. the non existent part

3 things u cant stand
1. backstabbers
2. making major decisions
3. mugging

3 things that scare you
1. losing family and friends
2. death
3. regret

3 of your favourite shows
1. zhou ri ba dian dang
2. teen titans
3. dora the explorer LOL

3 of your favourite animei
1. Inuyasha
2.Shaman King
3.POKEMON!!

3 of ur current favourite songs
1. my valentine-martina mcbride
2. chasing cars-snow patrol
3. far away-nickelback

3 movies you can watch over and over again
1. no idea
2. no idea
3. no idea

3 movies you would like to watch
1. Tokyo Drift ( i missed it)
2. Rob-B-Hood
3. that movie i will watch on impulse

3 things you are wearing right now
1. White tee
2. blue shorts
3. whatever goes underneath

3 things you want in a relationship
1. Love
2. Trust
3. Honesty

3 physical things of the opposite gender that attract you
1.The
2. The eyes
3. The behaviour

3 bad habits
1. scratching in my sleep
2. oversleeping
3. every other thing i cant tink of

3 of ur favourite hobbies
1. bowling
2. cycling
3. computer gamess

3 things you wanna do badly right now
1. Go to the beach with my sec skool pals
2. Go cycling
3. Just lie there forever with a good stereo system

3 careers u are currently considering
1. sweeper
2. toilet cleaner
3. rubbish truck driver

3 kids name u like
1. Sylvester
2. I
3.FORGOT!

3 places u wanna go on vacation
1. Gold Coast
2. Japan
3. Malaysia..lolx..it rawkiez


3 things u wanna do before u die
1. tell my family and friends how much i love them
2. eat all my favourite stuff
3. grow up and have a nice loving home

3 ways that u are stereotypically
1. tell me
2. tell me
3. tell me

3 crushes
1. zilch
2. void
3. none

3 ppl u wanna tag
1. u
2. the guy behind u
3. and the girl behind the guy behind u

SORRY FOR THE BAD ANSWERS..CANT TINK!!

The results are out. Hady is the second Singapore Idol.

I dont mind. I didn mind anybody winning actually. They both have their strengths. Hady has the better voice while Jonathan has the stage prescence. Weaknesses too. Jonathan has limited range while Hady sounds funny doing rock items? Try electricos perfomance, Hady sounded somewhat out of pattern. But it was not bad or anything.

So singapore chose the voice, which is good. Atoning for the mistake in keeping Joakim in so long i guess. But I believe both guys would get a deal with ken. Which was precisely why i didn mind anyone winning. Cant wait to hear their albums.

The original song is nice. You Give Me Wings i think. Especially the chorus. So, I guess I be singing that song for a while. Earplugs can be found at your local NTUC.

You give me wings when im falling.

You lift me up when im down.

You lift me high,

touching the sky.

You make me flyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Yeah thats the thing i be singing.

buh bye for now~

Im in a delightful mood. The most probable reason is that im only one day away from the one week study break. On top of that, tomorrow promises to be relaxed. GP in the morning, followed by maths lecture. Next would be PE. Sure, it is a put off to have PE lecture on the last day of school before the promotionals. But then again, the gym plans during recess takes the dissatisfaction away. Hope, its going to be fun and fruitful. After which there is physics lecture and finished off by chinese. Well almost. There is a physics time trial after school. Another put off. But well, I am not going to stress it and mug for that. Just gonna go there and try my luck. It worked well for the chemistry time trial yesterday. And then it would be the long-awaited study break.

It is funny. I am hardly prepared for the promos but yet im glad its closer? Well actually its because of the study break. I definitely cannot study during regular school. Although its supposed to be revision, there is still tons to do, getting you too exhausted to attempt any self-study. So I am indeed looking forward to the study break. I forsee a fruitful week, more fruitful then the wasting of time in lectures and tutorials. Why cant the teachers understand that we need more self revision more than anything? Well, at least that for my case.

I hope i will have the determination and discipline through out next week. I really have to optimise my time. Tons of practice is my plan, with memorising notes as a supplement. I worry I cannot focus but the one week is all i have. Lets hope it goes well.

So i am delighted because i can finally do what i feel is fulfilling and useful. Something that makes me feel that i have really learned and improved at the end of the day. Cool?

Well perhaps my day is not that good after all. I got the news today. Faizal is headed to poly next year. Im not upset. I long accustomed myself to the thought that we all have to seperate one day. Its the friendship that matters. The friendship that makes you say hi even if you had not seen a friend for 30 years. Friendship is not being together. If one forces to be together for the sake of friendship, it would destroy the lives of one party or both. That would defeat the purpose of friendship. We walk the journey of life on our own. We could be walking together in a row for a moment but in the next, the friend next to you may have a life path in a different direction. It would make no sense to force yourself to walk his path or force him to walk your path. The answer is to have faith. Have faith that one day, along this intertwined paths of lives, the paths of two friends may meet again, and you can walk together for that another moment. Live for the moment then.

Well what am I saying? The case is not as bad actually. Its not like Faizal is moving to pluto, leaving the realm of planets to the not so planety world. I still can meet him up whenever we have free time. Sure enough this would be minimal, but it is better than the life path scenario, where you enter a forest and cannot see your friends walking a path beyond the trees. Have faith, have faith that we will find time to meet. So my only hope, meet up more, and may the friendship never die.

Faizal is probably striving for his real interest in life. Getting the fulfilment in his life. A life of fulfilment is more important than a life of wealth and power. I hope I too can see the light to what i really want to do in life. How i really want to make a difference. But currently I cant, precisely why im in this pitstop called jc.

I should be happy for Faizal. Which was why i wasn upset. But I still want to talk to him. Sigh. Later perhaps.

Back to the studies. I think im still rather optimistic that i will be able to do adequate revision to get promoted. And I hope that my whole class will make it. 06S202 jia you!

buh bye for now~

Theres new lyrics on the lyrics page. Valentine by Martina McBride with Jim Brickman on the piano. Why? I just downloaded it and have listened to it multiple times non stop. One thing to clarify. I did not fall in love with this song after hearing Jasmine Tye sing it on Singapore Idol. She screwed the song. I heard the song many times before but was just lazy to find it. Then The Straits Times published the artiste behind the song and it was much easier.

Wonderful song it is. Though it does not make me think of anyone in this lonely lonely world of jc. Haha crapp.

Today is a bad day. Nothing much happened actually. Its just that I am not doing my homework once again. I dont know how to do chemistry and have no inspiration for that zuo wen. I wonder if that is all the homework i have. Really, i have no idea what homework i have other than that.

2 weeks to promos. Where will i be after this year. 07???? or 06???? or 06S202? I hope i will stick with s202. I love my class. At least we are bonded. We talk nonsense. We disturb teachers. We do not mug at times. Some of us dont mug.

And here I am slacking because i do not have the mood to do homework. I guess i try physics tys later. Wish me luck.

buh bye for now~

Okay, as promised, i am evaluating my new phone. Heres a look at its exterior.

how thin..

my 2 babies..

uplose

my 2 babies again

look at the numbers, what does it say? hehe^^

What can i say? The exterior has lived up to my expectations. Black and sleek. Thin at 12.9mm. Yes i know that it seems a little too wide for a while, but after that, its awesome. Everything i ever wanted in terms of design. Cool sliding action. Shimmering SAMSUNG word. Hidden ports. Im exagarating i know. Cant you just let the man with the new phone express his love?

Lets move on to functions. Music player. The speakers are not comparable to walkman phones, duh. It loses to nokias too. But the well hidden position right above the screen compensates for the only reasonable sound projection from the single speaker. Well at least it is better than my 6230. Something funny, phones come with plastic screen protectors when they are new. With the plastic covering the speaker, the sound quality was terrible, i almost freaked out. Then in my sleep i suddenly realised that. And the next day i had good sound quality.

Next, messaging. I must say that the new messaging style has badly disabled my skill, by at least fifty percent. But well im catching on. Improving. SMS me if you must but understand the wait. Haha. Nokia is still better in this. The vivid messaging thing that samsung features is a disappointment. Hardly works with all the short forms. Oh well.

Next. Games. Good. Comes with many games. And so i thought. Most of the games are trial versions actually. 1 level is all you get. But good enough. Better than the nokia games i used to have. I have finished all 50 stages of free kick. Sonic is uncontrollable. And yet to finished forgotten warrior.

Next. Memory is definitely not a problem. With the 1GB micro SD in it slot, i can put as much as i want in it. However, i find that the phone lags while opening the photo folder. Perhaps the thumbnails. Yeah but cool.

Next. Ahha i know you people have been waiting for this. the 3 megapixel camera. It is very good. Haven been really experimenting much with it. Im not a professional photographer so i dont know how good is good. But i like it. It should be good right? Hahax sua gu me. But the pictures are good. Good enough for my blog. So watch for more pictures. However, the camera is the old fashioned 1 touch camera. Press the button and wait. You dont have to hold half than press down. Good and bad. Good: it focuses on its own, oh thats the autofocus. Bad: Shake at the end and your picture is dead. The camera comes with effects, frames and stuff. And yeah i can do multishots too. And i thought only the cybershot came with it. Heh.

Some shots from the camera

lele~~

jiak peng!

the area outside my flat..newly laid tiles..nice!

Micenellous stuff. The background in theme mode is cool. The sky changes with time. But there is only 1 theme in the whole phone. Dang. And the keying in number thingy, there is only 1 kewl mode. Otherwise, its just colourful numbers. Not a matter anyway. Non-personalisable message tones. Not cool at all. However i like the silent mode thing. No more profiles. I was not a profile person anyway. I only had silent and normal last time. So the hold down # key to activate and deactivate silent mode is cool for me. Battery is wierd. Perhaps its the transition period where im overplaying my games and music player and camera. Yeah but its kindo short period. Lets hope things become better when i play less. >.<

I am very satisfied with my phone. The pros outweigh the cons. So its time to live a new life with it. Thanks faizal for his phone case. It doesnt fit very well. But it is suitable for now. Cant really find 1 that suits the design of my phone. Heh. Iris phone pouch looks cool but she has it. So no for me. Till i find another one i like.

Kudos to a new phone.

buh bye for now~

Im afraid of loss. Im afraid of making the wrong decision that could leave a permanent stain on my life.

Just last saturday, I was riding in my dads car to parkway to change my phone. It should be a good thing. However, i was quivering inside. My legs were jelly and my hands were cold. I could not bear to say goodbye to my 6230. Sure enough, its exterior was blemished, its functions were outdated, but it was the familiarity, the sense of knowing how everything goes. It was the fear of change. It was also the fear of loss. I could not turn back the time to get back my phone if i made the wrong decision.

From nokia to samsung was a great start to begin with. What if i did not know how to turn on the silent mode? What if i could not get used to the messaging? What if the promised functions were inadequate in comparison to the familiarity? The 6230 has been with me for so long, probably the longest of all my phones. It was once great and new, then it was a essential part of my life. However, these bloody handphone companies just cant live selling 6230s k700is and whatnots for the rest of their lives. Being profit-motivated, they go on to 3G 4G and who knows what. And soon my dear friend seemed a predecessor, outdated and boring.

However, life goes on. We all have to move on. We cant be wearing the same shirt for the rest of our lives just because we are used to it. We have to learn to let go. As the saying says: jiu de bu qu, xin de bu lai. It means the old has to go for the new to come. It was time to say goodbye and i decided it was on that fateful day. There was never enough time to prepare for this. Everytime i come close, i dont feel prepared.

The new phone does not disappoint on looks. However, it lacks the familiar touch. It lacks the ability to spin freely in my fingertips. I am paralysed in the field of SMSing without looking at the screen. Uh well, full evaluation this weekend.

Perhaps its the monotony of JC life that gives me time to think about all this. I really fear making the wrong decisions in life. It could be something simple in your life. For example clicking ur neck, what if it causes you pain decades down in life? Playing that game, what if the time you forfeited with your parents never comes again? It is hard to make everything click in jc life, it seems too busy to chat with your parents, to show a little care and concern to everyone around you. But life continues in this perpetually rapid pace, if i make it a habit to give excuses, i will never get anything done. So every day, gotta live it like theres no tomorrow. Im trying.

Seems so motivational camp feeling again. Sigh...

buh bye for now~

I officially proclaim my holiday revision plans a failure. It is sad but true. My initial plan to go to school to study everyday has been thwarted by laziness and project work. And as with every holiday, I will come down sick. Some runny nose just infected me on Saturday morning. When you are sick, you dont feel like working. And when that happens, revision goes down the drain.

There are also the games to deal with. I have been quite successful recently i guess. My CS has improved. Must be the new sensitivity im experimenting with. Much better alright. Gunbound. I hit 1k damage with boomer. Wow right? Those are the old games.

Too bad my brother bought 8 days this week. It came with free Audition installer disk. As my plans to download RYL underground failed, and i was bored, i tried Audition. And so now i have another game to deal with. Not bad. I made my first perfect finish move on day 2.

Next is project work. Took my sunday and new handphone away. And my wednesday too. And it is going to destroy my study plan big time. Because i learnt how to play O2jam at kenneths house. And now i have downloaded the game in my com. And Im hooked.

Oh well, as gamers say, good game. Lets just try to study as much as possible.

buh bye for now~

I used to watch the show, before pokemon was showed every saturday. That was not so long ago. I cannot remember a thing about what the show was about. Yet when the news was broken yesterday, a part inside just tingled. For if it was anything i remember, it was the man himself. Prancing around television much to the delight of children. He was like Barney the Dino, except he did not need the suit. I did not like crocos, but i watched the show, Crocodile Hunters: Croc Files. Perhaps it was there i learnt that crocos teeth show while they shut their mouths and not aligators, or was it the other way around.

Steve Irwin was killed yesterday by a stingray barb. Under the ribs and into his heart. It was a first of a kind, being killed by a stingray. It is saddening. Who is going to teach my futrue kids about crocodiles now? A legacy of a crocodile hunter has ended. Unlike Barney, where they just have to find a new guy to wear the suit, Irwin is unreplacable. The moments of my childhood. Rest in peace Steve.

Life is indeed fragile. While i was escaping from mugging using the noise from the renovation as a excuse, Irwin left the world. The renovation is still going on today. A sign? I hope not. What i have knew for so long but never used much, dont wait for tomorrow. Cause anything can happen today. Especially to the dearest in your life. So do not be afraid to say i love you. But in a traditional asian family, its hard to say. So just use the little actions daily, to show your care.

I finally found some kaki to study with. I knew i would not be able to study at home. But with the renovation going on, its an even worse case. So i hope i can optimise my time later in school. Playing Audition currently, not a bad game, but i tink O2jam seems better. But i suck at O2jam wheras i still can manage with Audition. And i dont feel like downloading all the songs for O2jam. So i just play Audition for now. Im not even suppose to be playing anyway. Mugging is the way of life.

buh bye for now~