Another wasted day. I hate to waste days. As in I didn achieve what I set out to do. Today what I wanted to do was to be a good boy and study for chemistry test. But ended up succumbing to sleep after one question of stretch and excel. Damm running nose. And what was supposed to be from 1.40 to 3pm ended up till 6pm. Fantastic.

Actually I dont really know whats wrong with me these days. Always suffering from this or that. I dont know if its flu or just sinus. Whatever it is, it is sure getting on my nerves. Headaches, tired eyes, feeling feverish (but is not fever). I want to be well again. I want to live a happy fulfilling life, not one about lying in bed and feeling pathetic. Grrr.

Then again, I want to question myself, why am I getting so worked up about this small chemistry test? I used to study on the day before, as in read through notes, and go for the test. But recently, I am expecting so much more. Im stretching and exceling. What the hell. Perhaps its due to peer pressure. Its scary to see people mugging their pants off and getting A for every subject. Or perhaps it is to get the teachers off my back. I do not really have the time to do tutorials and assignments now. So a good grade for the test will really do me good. If I fail this, and continue not doing my tutorials, it is a one way ticket isnt it?

Life is so meaningless now. Im still drifting.

It is indeed a lousy week. Infested with problems. Still not feeling that well. Plenty of headaches and some remaining symptoms of flu. Yesterday was worst. There was some burning sensation in my eye, pratically disabling me throughout the day. Was stoning throughout every single lecture. Fortunately its gone today, though theres tinges of it left. But still rather stay at home and sleep than to survive through lessons. I am like getting pissed off at everything.

Tuesday brought about a tricky problem. The bowling tee shirt brought up some issues. There as no stock for this no stock for that. And infomation came in slowly bit by bit. And in the end, it was settled but not idealy. It turns out that our tee shirts are going to be inconsistent in design, as in one is with zip and one is normal. Craps. And I sent 60 plus sms for nothing. And I totally dont know what is maths about now. And once again I was pissed.

I seriously dont know what else this week can bring on. I feel miserable. Cant wait for it to be over. Just today, I felt like I was being invaded by a monster. I dont understand why I am so paranoid. Perhaps there is some truth behind it. But I am just afraid. So afraid. And there is nothing I can do. All should I say, I dont have the guts to do. It might not work ideally in the end.

Tomorrow is the last day of the week. Already, the prospects are not bright. Maths and physics tutorials are not done. And did I say about the uncomfortable lump in my right shoe? My beloved new shoe. Drats. What a week. Quickly pass please, and be gone.


I do not want to be jealous either. But I am just so insecure. Afraid that you will be gone. Why am I so foolish? I need some concern too.

Today is a uber bad day. Okay lessons were pretty fine, what I prepared for econs saw me through the lesson. Spent physics tutorial guilty as usual of not completing it. Scraped through GP without doing the summary. But damm chemistry for being held in T2-1. The aircon just gave my nose what it needed to start running and that practically destroyed my whole day. Cause the whole bout of running nose just led to a headche and so here I am now, headache and all.

And it rained on new shoes day. I would celebrate the rain usually but not on new shoes day! It just poured and poured with massive loads of thunder and lightning. It is quite cool actually. When the lightning strikes you can see the whole corridor you are walking on glow with a blinding flash. Fortunately the rained stopped before I had to go for training and my shoes were saved. The rain dried up especially fast along the busstop to Changi Beach Club stretch too.

But today for training, we had to sit through some boring 1 hour talk that I was totally not absorbing. It was exactly what I needed when I was feeling sick and stuff. =( Oh well, nothing much new on the slides anyway, hope some of the team benefited from it though. And then it was just one hour on the lanes. Still not picking up my pin 10 but I did throw some good shots, like the most silent shot I had in years.

Okay so perhaps it wasn that bad. But I dont care. Cause I still have the headache and thats the worse thing that happened today. And so I am not doing my maths tutorial though I really tried just now and I only did 2 parts of physics. Drats. And tomorrow we are like going to have comprehension for GP? I am so looking forward to that. = =" The only thing I can pray for now is to be well tomorrow.

Then I saw your smile. And things are better again.

It has been a tiring week as usual. Tell me which week isnt? School life is like that I guess. Correction. JC life. Its time to get used to it and stop whining.

Thankfully, this week has proved fruitful, aside from the fatigue that was given as a free gift. Free gifts galore in Singapore, thats how it is. Well for one, I had some major change to my bowling style. Major depends on how you look at it but how about from super fast to turtle slow. And yeah I am not pulling anymore, or at least I think I am, my fingers are hardly even applying pressure. And the results are relatively good I guess. Better accuracy, better score. But I do miss the hard impact on the pins. Less is more I guess. And more is less. I think this way will do me better, so I will work on it instead, and perhaps get a better impact along the way?

Second, I passed my NAPFA. Well, yeah it was just the 2.4 that was stifling me anyway. So thanks to Sheldon for the pace, and sorry that it ended up he came in later. Irony. Lol. And so after 2 weeks, 4.8km, and only 60+ sit ups, I am done with NAPFA. Good riddance. For those who are still held up by this stumbling block, work hard for the retest in May yeah? I believe in you. Jia you!

Third, I got my new shoes. Just today. It is nike dunks in red and black, and white and err yellow? But yayness anyway. It was kind of lucky I guess, ly and kenneth walked with me rounds and we almost couldnt find anything but in the end all of us went home happy. There is going to be 3 new nikes debutting on Monday, if it doesn rain. That makes 4 new nikes in class in 2 weeks. Wow. Just a random thought, are more and more of my things turning red and black? Lol.

But after going out today, I am only left with one pathetic day to deal with tutorials. Really wonder which one to do first. I will probably leave out econs and physics though I really shlould start doing those. Feel kind of bad about these two la. I guess Mdm Yati was right about one thing, sometimes I really feel I can go to her tutorial without doing it la. And for physics, its the super nice tutor pressure. Oh well. Lets see what happens tomorrow.

I am happy. Novelty is exciting. =)

After one worry comes another. Though I am just probably thinking too much. Hmms.

Its the weekends! And never have I been so relieved before. This week has really been horrible. The fatigue just gets to me and totally screws me up. I guess there are several causes to this accumulated tiredness. One, I didn do anything the whole previous weekend and so the chionging of homework, and the related stress of stepping into lesson without completing homework does contribute. Two, NAPFA. And shit I got to redo that again next Tuesday? I failed 2.4. Like what the hell? Its quite scary lah. Haven failed that for quite a while now. I hope this is not a major factor to my fatigue though. I can see another screwed week coming otherwise. Three...

And so I was super moody, tired and stuff on Wednesday and Thurday. Sorry to those I gave black face to. Sorry for daoing people. Sorry for being totally missing in action. And its terrible for me too lah. It really kills my judgement on issues and my social skills. Paranoia, anti-socialism and what-nots. So I really hope that it will not happen again.

And so I take precautions. I have done chemistry homework and tried doing maths assignment already. And I didn finish maths. But its a start.

On a happy note, I got my A for project work as predicted. My whole group got As. MJ032. =) To those 06S202-ians who didn get their As, B is good too alright, so live on happily.

Sometimes I run

Sometimes I hide

Sometimes Im scared of you

But all I really want is to hold you tight

Treat you right

Be with you day and night

Baby all I need is time

There are many ways to reach a wonderful holiday destination upon an island. But what better way is there than to take a leisurely boat trip? The suitable adjustments must be made to get you to your destination. But sometimes, stupid things can occur. It may be just a minor mistake, that you believe no one will see it, but thats where the problem begins. You start to enter a turmoil, an engulving whirlpool that will suck you down to the abyss of the sea, to be perpetually buried by torrents of water.

If you knew that would happen, wouldnt it be better to enjoy the boat trip after all? Even if you dont reach that holiday resort, so what? A memory has been etched in your mind, for eternity, a beautiful memory.

But what can you do if you have already entered the whirlpool? Do you wait to sink? Or do something to save your life? But will have you the confidence to do anything again after that silly mistake you have made? You can never navigate with the same confidence again.

It all seems gloomy now. Unless. Unless the resort thought you might be in distress and sent out a rescue team. Perhaps. But it still seems gloomy.

The day the boat goes down, the tears will flow, but can never be seen.

And it all started with a mistake.

its already starting to seem..different...

Kind of disappointing wasn it? The lane was perfect for high games. But I did not hit any high games. I did not even get a good average. Pathetic. Its a complete disappointment to be exact. What went wrong? I dont really know. But it probably boils down to the line. Should have chose a inside line and use the hook instead of powering the ball down. Speed and power, pins flew, but no strikes. Spares were broken. Bad decisions I guess, but I thought I should never start seeking a new line on the last game. And the mistake carried on.

And tomorrow I probably be sitting down with the coach to discuss A division teams. And what am I suppose to say? Opt for team two? Or fight for team one when I feel so unworthy. I know I can do better but todays scores may be a big deciding factor. I really wonder how things will go.

No point dreading about it. The initial disappointment and anguish has subsided. Time to be myself again.

Im quite dumb am I?

For the first time, I took down a post. I guess my encrypting wasn sufficient. I did it manually and took quite a while but its still easily read. If someone bothers la. So its abit too explicit for public eyes. Those who saw the post, shhhh. Lol.

Sometimes life is really a struggle. Have you ever been placed in a situation when you try real hard only to find that you have gone totally wrong? Well, I feel totally like that during Maths tutorials. I know it sounds corny but I just feel like shouting out.

I AM STRESSED!

Okay much better. Yeah. And I am getting white hair too. I am not growing old. And I havent eaten maggi mee in a while. But oh well, I guess I am happy go lucky. Thats my strength. This will pass. And I be all right again. But maths really sucks lah. I feel really helpless and desperate during tutorials.

Need help soon.

Its time to reveal some results. The March block tests.

Lets begin from the top. Chemistry. I got a C. Well, I had hoped for a B but I guess C is fine. After all I hadn put much into chem this period of time.

Next will be a nasty drop to E, for physics. I guess I am beginning to detest physics again. I worked hard for this man, at least more that the other subjects. But what shit do I get, an E. Okay lah, maybe the questions that came out were totally unpredictable. Hmms. Oh well. As Mr Gohel said, at least I passed.

Next subject is GP. Sad. Damm sad. I got a 44.5. It should be an E but I consider myself as having failed. Its an S to me. Why should I console myself with an E anyway? It doesn make much of a difference. I have slipped. Complacency perhaps? But till now I still have no idea what I could have studied. I would put the blame on selecting the wrong essay question, not being able to grasp the question sufficiently. But that is not an excuse. The paper 2 is okay I guess, everyone flunked it and I didn flunk too badly. But a fail is a fail. Time to do some reflection.

Maths. 39. U. I am pretty okay with this. I only studied minimal the day before and I am one mark from S. Pretty good eh? Bullshit. It just means that its time to do something. I managed to bluff my way through the block tests but it wont be possible forever. But then again, when can I draw the time? This is my most worrying subject. Sigh.

I have not gotten back econs but I guess I passed. Case study is 70% right? So I just get back the essay next week and see whats the final. But yay I passed. And I studied the day before too. And abit here and there at the airport. Lol. Yeah work hard.

Oh well. So I am still a slacker. I cant get myself to be like some of the classmates I have. I can hardly complete my homework, not to say do revision. And it reflects big time in my grades. Will I really get As one day? I seriously wonder. The tumble in GP took much of my morale away. I hardly feel like blogging anymore. Why let people read my horrendous language? But then again, this is a way to improve. Oh well. Keep blogging, keep living, and work hard.

Live happy. =)