I hate it when you have something to settle but you can only settle it after a certain time period. Most of the times I rather it over and done with. But in some cases it cant be helped. The mid-year examinations fall comfortably in this category. You cant rush it to come, yet it is there, constantly bugging you, and reminding you its there.

Shout the word holiday and echoes that sound abrubtly different return. Echoes that sound like the phrase study-break. The June holiday is destroyed due to this unwanted term attached along to it. No matter what you plan to do, there is always the question in your mind. Should you rather be studying?

And it takes the fun out of everything. Everytime you have fun, you return home feeling guilty that you might have been studying instead. Yet when you try to study alone at home, you find yourself unable to focus much, and the question changes. What if you had used that time to play instead? Indeed the opportunity cost of every activity becomes more prominent now, the constraint of time making us sensitive to it.

Theres just so much you want to do on one hand, all the fun stuff. Yet on the other, your sense of responsibility bugs you, the responsibility of being a student. How is it possible to squeeze all this into the period of a month? And on top of that, you are unable to control unexpected circumstances. That makes it just more difficult to manage your time. Anyone else with time issues? Hmmm.

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The holidays is a good time to catch up with friends from outside of school. Your secondary school friends, the good old friends. You finally find time to break out of the tiring cycle of schoolwork when you could only squeeze time to hang out with those friends from class. I guess that is one good thing about the holidays. Are we going to meet up soon? Faizal, Denan, Phira and Edward. The good old timers.

But now that you are free to meet up with the external people, do you find yourself drifting away from those guys at class instead? Going out just seems so difficult now. Everything is just so official. Advanced booking needed. No more impromptu stuff. It really tests your sense of initiative. And I dont have much of that. That may explain why I am home so often. =x In addition to that, there is difficulty in asking people out sometimes. I somehow have the feeling that I will be always second in line, especially to those people with commitments to other people. I somehow feel that everyone just has their plans already. And it really does seem a long time since we last met up, although it has just been 4 days.

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Oh well. I have released some of the pent up emotions I have inside. So now its time to be optimistic again. Perhaps the time issues and the meeting up with people issue will be settled when I finally get some people to group study. That will take my mind off stuff I guess.

On a lighter note, has anyone noticed? Its 12 days to a very special day! XD

Was that just a dream to fade away?