Boats drifting in the sea of fate, thats what we are. Hopelessly paddling, striving for destinations, yet evantually just being played around by the waves and the wind. Its kind of pathetic aint it, how helpless we can be at times. Helpless and hapless. After drifting in the sea for times that know no bound, we finally see shore, and we struggle to paddle towards it, with all of our strength, yet when we are down to the final 100m, the wind suddenly changes direction, and it blows in an opposing direction to us. We fight on, yet it is too strong, and we can only look longingly at the shore, so near yet so far.

What is wrong with this? Some of you may ask. Being able to see must mean you are closer to your goal. Yet you are often reminded of your disappointment as well. How your many attempts at reaching shore had been fruitless once and again. It does get tiring. It does. And it doesn make you afraid. Afraid that one day, you might give up hope on land altogether. You dont want that to happen so much, you know what land holds for you, but it just looms bleakly in the days to come. Sometimes being able to see but not hold is the most painful position to be in. To be in the balance, neither here nor there. You do not get the full advantages of each side, but get the disadvantages of both.

And in situations like this, the mind turns into your worst enemy, as it focuses on the cons, overlooking the pros that come occasionally. An example would be the additional pain, to be able to see but not do anything. Imagine if you can see your beloved house upon the shore. But unfortunately, your house is being looted. You see the dark figure sneaking in and out of your home, taking away what is precious to you. Yet you cannot do anything because of your position. Yet you feel the hurt, the agony, and curse the police for not being able to see it happening. But evantually you realise that all you can do is to surpress it all and pretend you never knew anything.

Its occurences like these, that wear you out. That makes you wonder why you are so foolish, to long for what you may be impossible to reach. Makes you wonder why would you put yourself through such a torment. Makes you feel like giving up. When you no longer desire anything, there would be self satisfaction and contentment, and none of this pain that you are going through. It gets more and more tempting.

Yet are you really able to give up? Deep inside, you are still secretly wishing for it to happen. What if one day, the wind decides to blow you to shore without you even trying? Would you then regret that you gave up on land? Would you feel stupid for giving up everything you could have just for the temporary relief? Would you feel saddened when you see people walking around with the riches of the land that you could have had yourself?

I am not giving up. I will wait for the wind.

Yet all I could do was to watch your back as you walked away, with only disappointment left in that cold lonely place.