Nothing much today. Was home alone for quite a while. Was really bored, but I shall not bore the world with my boring ramblings.

Hargao is flying to Australia tomorrow, for some science camp. Which means she be gone for 3 weeks. I really hope I be allowed to go out tomorrow. One, because I am bored. Two, I will not see her for three weeks. And I did not really say goodbye proper on Tuesday. My mum is not home yet. So I pray I get to go out. Pray, hope, and when things get desperate, beg. Yeah. I got to try right? Theres a 50% chance.

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Dreams. What do they speak. Some say it is a reflection of your daily life. Some believe that it is what you think of and wish for. To others, it is just the minds way of processing the information in there. Dreams. I have been getting lots of them since I went for surgery. Probably one significant one each night. And they mostly comprise the friends I have from class. It is puzzling. Yet, it is relieving. At least I get to see them in my dream.

If only dreams were like those in the drama serials. Everything is realistic. And the people you meet in your dream, they are dreaming of the same thing. It is like a virtual world. You log on when you sleep, and can explore Dreamland with anyone you want to. It will be beautiful then. Balancing your social circle would be much easier. You could meet your JC friends in the day, and meet up with old timers in your dreams. There would be more time to spend, no need for transport, only restrained by the ringing of your alarm clock.

To some, dreams are a portal to meet those who have left the earthly life for a better place. They see their parents, their grandparents, ancestors, friends. I have yet to experience it but I hope it is true. It would help to ease the pain of every death that comes, every life that goes.

What are dreams? Nobody knows. Perhaps it is a boundless energy source, up to the imagination of the human mind. Perhaps that is why there are so many variations of dreams. It is what the mind wants, yet in a warped kind of way.

I read in a friends blog. It was a very emotional one, that reached right into the deep corners of my heart, evoking emotions and thoughts. It revolved around the topic, what does one want out of life. It is indeed true my friend, a question that many a person has asked his or herself countless times.

For me, I am equally unsure of what makes life different from existence. There is a different wish at a different occasion. When you are with your friends having fun, you wish that your parents would stop bugging you to go home. Yet when you are home, you find a wish for your parents to be happy, to be healthy, and have whatever they want. For every wrinkle on their faces caused by you, you wish to be able to do something for them.

Many a time in a material world, people wish for the latest and the fashionable. They want the new handphone, the new car, etcetra. Behind all this, what is the evantual wish? Things have gotten complicated. People no longer go for the simple pleasures of life. They do no longer wish to be merely happy or for their family and friends to feel the same. They get confused. They think popularity may bring happiness to them, to be surrounded by a faux of deceiving faces. Pretence. Friends who are friends just to share your limelight. They get lost in it all. They lose track of what they really want out of life.

What do we really want then? It is indeed a good question. We get lost in the moment too many a time. Perhaps it will be good to check oneself from time to time, to see how ones aim has wandered. Perhaps we can write it down, so that we will never lose track. Perhaps, wants should be prioritised as well. For example, the basic need to be happy and for family and friends to be the same takes the number one spot. Superfical wants such as power, authority, material wealth can take second play.

And the list can go on. Our lives are limited. We must stay true to ourselves. Set out with the goal in mind, and never forget. Do what we need to do in life. The rest, the cars, the handphone, leave it in dreams. This way, we may live a more enriching life.

But then again, are what we want really the best for ourselves and everybody around? Are we selfish beings? Perhaps sometimes, it is just best to dream, and not enforce our wants on the world. To live a vicarious life in dreams. But then again, will we regret not wanting?
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Oh no. I am confused now.