Im afraid of loss. Im afraid of making the wrong decision that could leave a permanent stain on my life.

Just last saturday, I was riding in my dads car to parkway to change my phone. It should be a good thing. However, i was quivering inside. My legs were jelly and my hands were cold. I could not bear to say goodbye to my 6230. Sure enough, its exterior was blemished, its functions were outdated, but it was the familiarity, the sense of knowing how everything goes. It was the fear of change. It was also the fear of loss. I could not turn back the time to get back my phone if i made the wrong decision.

From nokia to samsung was a great start to begin with. What if i did not know how to turn on the silent mode? What if i could not get used to the messaging? What if the promised functions were inadequate in comparison to the familiarity? The 6230 has been with me for so long, probably the longest of all my phones. It was once great and new, then it was a essential part of my life. However, these bloody handphone companies just cant live selling 6230s k700is and whatnots for the rest of their lives. Being profit-motivated, they go on to 3G 4G and who knows what. And soon my dear friend seemed a predecessor, outdated and boring.

However, life goes on. We all have to move on. We cant be wearing the same shirt for the rest of our lives just because we are used to it. We have to learn to let go. As the saying says: jiu de bu qu, xin de bu lai. It means the old has to go for the new to come. It was time to say goodbye and i decided it was on that fateful day. There was never enough time to prepare for this. Everytime i come close, i dont feel prepared.

The new phone does not disappoint on looks. However, it lacks the familiar touch. It lacks the ability to spin freely in my fingertips. I am paralysed in the field of SMSing without looking at the screen. Uh well, full evaluation this weekend.

Perhaps its the monotony of JC life that gives me time to think about all this. I really fear making the wrong decisions in life. It could be something simple in your life. For example clicking ur neck, what if it causes you pain decades down in life? Playing that game, what if the time you forfeited with your parents never comes again? It is hard to make everything click in jc life, it seems too busy to chat with your parents, to show a little care and concern to everyone around you. But life continues in this perpetually rapid pace, if i make it a habit to give excuses, i will never get anything done. So every day, gotta live it like theres no tomorrow. Im trying.

Seems so motivational camp feeling again. Sigh...

buh bye for now~